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The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 2

Every episode of Two and a Half Men Season 2 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 2!

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Genre:Comedy
Network:CBS

Season 2 Ratings Summary

"Back Off, Mary Poppins" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men" season 2. It scored 7.9/10 based on 1986 votes. Directed by Chuck Lorre, Pamela Fryman and written by Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers, it aired on 9/19/2004. This episode is rated 0.3 points higher than the second-best, "Enjoy Those Garlic Balls".

  • Back Off, Mary Poppins
    7.9/101,986 votes

    #1 - Back Off, Mary Poppins

    Season 2 Episode 1 - Aired 9/19/2004

    Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers

  • Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
    7.6/101,515 votes

    #2 - Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

    Season 2 Episode 2 - Aired 9/26/2004

    Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician, and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky, Don Foster

  • A Bag Full of Jawea
    7.9/101,568 votes

    #3 - A Bag Full of Jawea

    Season 2 Episode 3 - Aired 10/2/2004

    Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension for giving his teacher (Missi Pyle) the finger by romancing her, but his several attempts fail every time.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman

    Writer: N/A

  • Go Get Mommy's Bra
    7.9/101,481 votes

    #4 - Go Get Mommy's Bra

    Season 2 Episode 4 - Aired 10/10/2004

    Jake is very impressed and can't stop talking about his mother's new boyfriend, Dr. Melnick, which annoys Alan. While Evelyn borrows Charlie's car to help her impress a Saudi prince, because she wants to sell him real estate. When Charlie gets his car back, he discovers his mother's bra in the backseat. When he finds out why it's there he decides to trade in his car.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky

  • Bad News from the Clinic?
    7.6/101,503 votes

    #5 - Bad News from the Clinic?

    Season 2 Episode 5 - Aired 10/17/2004

    Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who's better at playing hard to get than he is.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman

    Writer: N/A

  • The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
    7.8/101,459 votes

    #6 - The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

    Season 2 Episode 6 - Aired 10/24/2004

    Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky

  • A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
    7.3/101,465 votes

    #7 - A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

    Season 2 Episode 7 - Aired 11/7/2004

    Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
    8.0/101,491 votes

    #8 - Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

    Season 2 Episode 8 - Aired 11/14/2004

    Alan meets a woman named Nancy at a grocery store, who fulfills every single one of his desires, forcing Charlie to take care of Jake. After knowing Nancy for a few days Alan decides to ask her to marry him, prompting Charlie to try and talk him out of it, and he even gets help from the brothers' mother.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • Yes, Monsignor
    7.8/101,512 votes

    #9 - Yes, Monsignor

    Season 2 Episode 9 - Aired 11/21/2004

    When Charlie leaves the house to avoid a date that he can't stand, he ends up at a coffee shop, where he meets his old girlfriend Lisa. He finds out that she broke up with her husband, and now has a child. Now he must try to convince Lisa that he's okay with her having a child. While Jake tries to justify to his father why he isn't doing so well in school.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Susan Beavers

  • The Salmon Under My Sweater
    7.9/101,493 votes

    #10 - The Salmon Under My Sweater

    Season 2 Episode 10 - Aired 11/28/2004

    Charlie tries to get Jake's approval on a theme song that he is hired to write for a television show, which is based on a comic book that Jake is a fan. While Alan finds out more about Rose (including how smart she is), when he spends more time with her.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
    8.0/101,531 votes

    #11 - Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

    Season 2 Episode 11 - Aired 12/12/2004

    After getting unusually turned down at a bar, Charlie learns that a website has been made dedicated to exposing his lifestyle. Charlie sets out to find who created the site, making amends to all those he stood up, but it's harder than it looks when all the women take the apology better than expected.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • A Lungful of Alan
    8.0/101,583 votes

    #12 - A Lungful of Alan

    Season 2 Episode 12 - Aired 1/2/2005

    Alan is jealous of Charlie when an old classmate, who's now a beautiful woman, seems to be more interested in Charlie.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky

  • Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
    8.1/101,524 votes

    #13 - Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)

    Season 2 Episode 13 - Aired 1/15/2005

    After an earthquake hits, Judith's house is damaged and she needs a place to stay. So Alan decides to invite her to stay with him and Charlie, without getting Charlie's permission. Charlie isn't happy with this, but accepts it. Alan becomes jealous when Judith goes on a date, and asks Charlie to find him a date, so that he can show Judith that he dates as well.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
    7.6/101,383 votes

    #14 - Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

    Season 2 Episode 14 - Aired 1/30/2005

    The brothers throw out their mother, after she insults the way Alan is raising Jake. When Alan and Charlie ignore her phone calls, to get their attention she ends up in the hospital. When Alan and Charlie show up at the hospital they aren't sure if she's faking, and try to call her bluff.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Don Foster

  • Smell the Umbrella Stand
    7.9/101,416 votes

    #15 - Smell the Umbrella Stand

    Season 2 Episode 15 - Aired 2/6/2005

    Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it, Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Susan Beavers, Don Foster

  • Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
    8.2/101,519 votes

    #16 - Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?

    Season 2 Episode 16 - Aired 2/13/2005

    When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Susan Beavers, Don Foster

  • Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
    7.8/101,497 votes

    #17 - Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!

    Season 2 Episode 17 - Aired 2/20/2005

    After Charlie has back pain, Alan decides to take him to the Hospital. While there Charlie can't stop hitting on the doctor who is examining him. The only problem is that he has a history with her that he can't remember. Berta is feed up with Jake's inability to use the bathroom properly, so she decides to make him clean it until he learns.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • It Was Mame, Mom
    8.1/101,617 votes

    #18 - It Was Mame, Mom

    Season 2 Episode 18 - Aired 3/6/2005

    Charlie is invited to a party hosted by a gay ad-executive named Eric, so Charlie asks Alan to pretend that he's his life partner. While at the party, Charlie meets Eric's ex-wife Pamela, and tries to sleep with her without Eric finding out.

    Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky

  • A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
    7.8/101,462 votes

    #19 - A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

    Season 2 Episode 19 - Aired 3/20/2005

    After Charlie takes Alan to an eye doctor, they end up at cafe where they bump into Charlie's ex-girlfriend, Sherri. While there Alan shows an interest in Sherri, and decides to ask her out. The problem is that Alan can't get over Sherri's relationship with Charlie.

    Director: Gary Halvorson, Eddie Gorodetsky

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
    7.6/101,460 votes

    #20 - I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

    Season 2 Episode 20 - Aired 4/17/2005

    Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings, when Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.

    Director: Asaad Kelada

    Writer: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

  • A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
    7.8/101,441 votes

    #21 - A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

    Season 2 Episode 21 - Aired 4/30/2005

    Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry has died. They all attend the funeral, including Jake who is excited at the opportunity of seeing a ""dead guy"". Charlie is excited by the opportunity of a newly single widow, and Alan is just happy to pay his respects to Harry.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky

  • That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
    7.6/101,420 votes

    #22 - That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

    Season 2 Episode 22 - Aired 5/8/2005

    Evelyn buys Alan a new Sports car causing Charlie to claim that his brother has sold his soul to the Devil. The next day, Evelyn extracts payment by insisting that Alan go on a blind, double date with her, her new beau and his daughter. At the restaurant, Alan learns that his mother and boyfriend will not be able to join them because there was a mixup between his heart medication and Viagra and she didn't want to ""waste it"". As a result, Alan is left to deal with the daughter, who is on a weekend pass from a rehab center and still has some loose screws. Alan eventually gets her back to the beach house only to have her drive off in his new sports car and become the object of a televised high-speed car chase.

    Director: Gary Halvorson

    Writer: Don Foster

  • Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
    8.7/101,963 votes

    #23 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

    Season 2 Episode 23 - Aired 5/15/2005

    Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.

    Director: N/A

    Writer: Chuck Lorre, Susan Beavers, Don Foster

  • Does This Smell Funny to You?
    8.3/101,578 votes

    #24 - Does This Smell Funny to You?

    Season 2 Episode 24 - Aired 5/22/2005

    Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an older man's trophy wife while Jake has to read a paper to his class.

    Director: Pamela Fryman

    Writer: Chuck Lorre, Susan Beavers