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The Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 2

Every episode of Two and a Half Men Season 2 ranked from best to worst. Discover the Best Episodes of Two and a Half Men Season 2!

Binge this in 8h 49m•Peaking at 8.7/10

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

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Episode Rankings

  1. #1 Fan Favorite
    Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 1 - Back Off, Mary Poppins
    7.9/10(2185 votes)

    #1 - Back Off, Mary Poppins

    S2:E1

    Alan learns that Charlie belongs to an exclusive men's group, and he begs his brother to let him join.

    Directors:Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers

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  2. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 2 - Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
    7.6/10(1662 votes)

    #2 - Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

    S2:E2

    Judith is dating Jake's pediatrician, and Alan is upset until Charlie points out that if she remarries, his alimony payments will end.

    Directors:Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre
    Writers:Don Foster, Eddie Gorodetsky

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  3. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 3 - A Bag Full of Jawea
    7.9/10(1709 votes)

    #3 - A Bag Full of Jawea

    S2:E3

    Charlie tries to save Jake from school suspension for giving his teacher (Missi Pyle) the finger by romancing her, but his several attempts fail every time.

    Directors:Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre
    Writer:Unknown

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  4. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 4 - Go Get Mommy's Bra
    7.9/10(1627 votes)

    #4 - Go Get Mommy's Bra

    S2:E4

    Jake is very impressed and can't stop talking about his mother's new boyfriend, Dr. Melnick, which annoys Alan. While Evelyn borrows Charlie's car to help her impress a Saudi prince, because she wants to sell him real estate. When Charlie gets his car back, he discovers his mother's bra in the backseat. When he finds out why it's there he decides to trade in his car.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Eddie Gorodetsky, Chuck Lorre

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  5. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 5 - Bad News from the Clinic?
    7.6/10(1650 votes)

    #5 - Bad News from the Clinic?

    S2:E5

    Charlie meets his match when he falls for a woman who's better at playing hard to get than he is.

    Directors:Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre
    Writer:Unknown

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  6. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 6 - The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
    7.8/10(1600 votes)

    #6 - The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

    S2:E6

    Alan denies having shoplifted a toy as a child and fears he has a dark side, until Charlie admits he planted the toy on Alan to stay out of trouble himself.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Eddie Gorodetsky, Chuck Lorre

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  7. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 7 - A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
    7.3/10(1611 votes)

    #7 - A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

    S2:E7

    Charlie and Alan hire Berta's sister to cater a party their mother has conned them into throwing for her.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  8. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 8 - Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
    8.0/10(1638 votes)

    #8 - Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

    S2:E8

    Alan meets a woman named Nancy at a grocery store, who fulfills every single one of his desires, forcing Charlie to take care of Jake. After knowing Nancy for a few days Alan decides to ask her to marry him, prompting Charlie to try and talk him out of it, and he even gets help from the brothers' mother.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  9. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 9 - Yes, Monsignor
    7.7/10(1658 votes)

    #9 - Yes, Monsignor

    S2:E9

    When Charlie leaves the house to avoid a date that he can't stand, he ends up at a coffee shop, where he meets his old girlfriend Lisa. He finds out that she broke up with her husband, and now has a child. Now he must try to convince Lisa that he's okay with her having a child. While Jake tries to justify to his father why he isn't doing so well in school.

    Directors:Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre
    Writer:Susan Beavers

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  10. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 10 - The Salmon Under My Sweater
    7.9/10(1631 votes)

    #10 - The Salmon Under My Sweater

    S2:E10

    Charlie tries to get Jake's approval on a theme song that he is hired to write for a television show, which is based on a comic book that Jake is a fan. While Alan finds out more about Rose (including how smart she is), when he spends more time with her.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  11. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 11 - Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
    8.0/10(1678 votes)

    #11 - Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

    S2:E11

    After getting unusually turned down at a bar, Charlie learns that a website has been made dedicated to exposing his lifestyle. Charlie sets out to find who created the site, making amends to all those he stood up, but it's harder than it looks when all the women take the apology better than expected.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  12. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 12 - A Lungful of Alan
    8.0/10(1734 votes)

    #12 - A Lungful of Alan

    S2:E12

    Alan is jealous of Charlie when an old classmate, who's now a beautiful woman, seems to be more interested in Charlie.

    Directors:Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre
    Writer:Eddie Gorodetsky

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  13. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 13 - Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair)
    8.2/10(1676 votes)

    #13 - Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair)

    S2:E13

    After an earthquake hits, Judith's house is damaged and she needs a place to stay. So Alan decides to invite her to stay with him and Charlie, without getting Charlie's permission. Charlie isn't happy with this, but accepts it. Alan becomes jealous when Judith goes on a date, and asks Charlie to find him a date, so that he can show Judith that he dates as well.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  14. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 14 - Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
    7.6/10(1532 votes)

    #14 - Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

    S2:E14

    The brothers throw out their mother, after she insults the way Alan is raising Jake. When Alan and Charlie ignore her phone calls, to get their attention she ends up in the hospital. When Alan and Charlie show up at the hospital they aren't sure if she's faking, and try to call her bluff.

    Directors:Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre
    Writer:Don Foster

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  15. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 15 - Smell the Umbrella Stand
    7.8/10(1565 votes)

    #15 - Smell the Umbrella Stand

    S2:E15

    Alan starts to worry about a medical procedure that he is facing, and to get his mind off it, Charlie suggests they go to Las Vegas.

    Directors:Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre
    Writers:Don Foster, Susan Beavers

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  16. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 16 - Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
    8.2/10(1679 votes)

    #16 - Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

    S2:E16

    When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Don Foster, Susan Beavers

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  17. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 17 - Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
    7.8/10(1644 votes)

    #17 - Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!

    S2:E17

    After Charlie has back pain, Alan decides to take him to the Hospital. While there Charlie can't stop hitting on the doctor who is examining him. The only problem is that he has a history with her that he can't remember. Berta is feed up with Jake's inability to use the bathroom properly, so she decides to make him clean it until he learns.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  18. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 18 - It Was 'Mame', Mom
    8.1/10(1774 votes)

    #18 - It Was 'Mame', Mom

    S2:E18

    Charlie is invited to a party hosted by a gay ad-executive named Eric, so Charlie asks Alan to pretend that he's his life partner. While at the party, Charlie meets Eric's ex-wife Pamela, and tries to sleep with her without Eric finding out.

    Directors:Lee Aronsohn, Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre
    Writer:Eddie Gorodetsky

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  19. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 19 - A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
    7.8/10(1616 votes)

    #19 - A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

    S2:E19

    After Charlie takes Alan to an eye doctor, they end up at cafe where they bump into Charlie's ex-girlfriend, Sherri. While there Alan shows an interest in Sherri, and decides to ask her out. The problem is that Alan can't get over Sherri's relationship with Charlie.

    Directors:Eddie Gorodetsky, Gary Halvorson
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  20. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 20 - I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
    7.6/10(1607 votes)

    #20 - I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

    S2:E20

    Rose tries to help the brothers sort out their feelings, when Charlie and Alan take their personal frustrations out on each other.

    Director:Asaad Kelada
    Writers:Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre

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  21. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 21 - A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
    7.8/10(1594 votes)

    #21 - A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

    S2:E21

    Evelyn reads in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry has died. They all attend the funeral, including Jake who is excited at the opportunity of seeing a ""dead guy"". Charlie is excited by the opportunity of a newly single widow, and Alan is just happy to pay his respects to Harry.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writer:Eddie Gorodetsky

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  22. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 22 - That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
    7.6/10(1566 votes)

    #22 - That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

    S2:E22

    Evelyn buys Alan a new Sports car causing Charlie to claim that his brother has sold his soul to the Devil. The next day, Evelyn extracts payment by insisting that Alan go on a blind, double date with her, her new beau and his daughter. At the restaurant, Alan learns that his mother and boyfriend will not be able to join them because there was a mixup between his heart medication and Viagra and she didn't want to ""waste it"". As a result, Alan is left to deal with the daughter, who is on a weekend pass from a rehab center and still has some loose screws. Alan eventually gets her back to the beach house only to have her drive off in his new sports car and become the object of a televised high-speed car chase.

    Director:Gary Halvorson
    Writer:Don Foster

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  23. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 23 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
    8.7/10(2187 votes)

    #23 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

    S2:E23

    Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.

    Director:Unknown
    Writers:Don Foster, Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre

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  24. Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 24 - Does This Smell Funny to You?
    8.3/10(1740 votes)

    #24 - Does This Smell Funny to You?

    S2:E24

    Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an older man's trophy wife while Jake has to read a paper to his class.

    Director:Pamela Fryman
    Writers:Susan Beavers, Chuck Lorre

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Season 2 Ratings Summary

"Back Off, Mary Poppins" is the best rated episode of "Two and a Half Men" season 2. It scored 7.9/10 based on 2185 votes. Directed by Pamela Fryman, Chuck Lorre and written by Lee Aronsohn, Susan Beavers, it aired on 9/20/2004. This episode is rated 0.3 points higher than the second-best, "Enjoy Those Garlic Balls".